Thursday, October 08, 2009

Humans and Doorknobs

You know those days when you are CERTAIN that CPS has hidden a camera in your home, is going to show up at your door, take your kids, and sell them to China because they'd be much better off spending 14 hours a day learning some obscure art form like plate spinning or contortionism all while being indoctrinated with communism, than spending any more time with their crazed mother who is taking the short bus to the looney bin.

You know those days. Don't lie.

But then your child goes and says something profound to totally redeem himself, like...

"When I grow up, I'm going to be a human."

Really? Promise?

Or they do something like this...

Throw a goldfish cracker in the air to try and catch it in his mouth, hang out under the goldfish, watching intently to follow it into his mouth, bang eye on doorknob because goldfish drifted a little too far.

I didn't do it. CPS, did you catch that? He gave himself a black eye. But that hidden camera would have caught Luke and I laughing hysterically and calling America's Funniest Home Videos.

4 comments:

Kali said...

Thank you for sharing that. You just made my day!:)

Carrie said...

I am still laughing and I admit it, I have those days/weeks. And I also admit: I think CPS already has a file for us.

Erin said...

You seriously have the best posts, they always make me laugh.

Danielle said...

Classic.