I Hate...

My sister recently took a Facebook quiz in which she had to name five things the world would be better without. So, I've been thinking about it, and since I don't "get" Facebook, I'll put my thoughts on here.

The first bunch of things that came to mind were all proper names. So, I won't name them. Because that would be rude. And this is the internet and my hate list may possibly be here forever. Let's just say they included multiple people whose names start with the letter "O", a certain shopping establishment that starts with "Wal" and ends with "Mart", and the Boston Red Sox.

Without proper nouns, I could think of only one thing that I truly, truly hate and that the world would be better off without.

CROWS!

I hate crows. They are loud and obnoxious. They poop on your fence, your car, your swingset, and your head for sport. They steal your picnic food. I hate crows.

For his next birthday, I'm buying Willie a BB gun and I'm going to pay him for every crow he gets.

Then, when he runs for public office in 30 years, the media (because no child of mine will concievably hold views that will be acceptable to mainstream media) finding no trash on him will turn to PETA, who will say, "He earns disposable income hunting helpless birds."

PETA, his mother put him up to it. He also kills slugs, catepillars, and has a collection of dead ladybugs.

Speeding Tickets

Yes, I recieved a speeding ticket a few days ago. Willie has been telling EVERYBODY that his mom got "caught by the police." It appears to be a great conversation starter. Here's my favorite exchange though:

Willie: Mom, why did the police capture you?
Me: Because I was driving too fast.
Willie: Did you break the law?
Me: Yep.
Willie: (eyes as big as saucers) Then you can never go to church again!!

Oi!

(And speaking of traffic incidents...I saw a Toyota Tundra nearly take out a Prius yesterday. I started cracking up at myself (and felt slightly guilty) when my first thought was, "This is cute though, huh? You're saving the world for all of us. Go hemp!" (name that movie...))

Fearless is...

*Letting your boys talk you into giving them mohawks...or fauxhawks, more accurately.

*Taking out the garbage in your underwear (not me, Luke).

*Having the fam over for dinner at least twice a month (that's 36 people...)

*Making sure four kids are alive and happy...and keeping it that way 24/7.

*Letting Benjamin sleep in regular underwear because he's sick and tired of wearing EmJ's old princess pull-ups.

*Fearless is...

*Shamelessly admitting on your blog that you LOVE Taylor Swift!!
*Becoming a teeny-bopper for a night to attend her concert!! *Running into, of all people, your visiting teacher at said concert! *Screaming and screaming and screaming! *Dancing and dancing and dancing! *Singing along with every song! *Wishing that you were sitting two aisles over so Taylor would walk right by you down the aisle to the stage...hugging, shaking hands, signing autographs the whole way! *Pushing people out of the way to snag a free FEARLESS poster!

*Loving Kellie Pickler and Gloriana...they were awesome, too. *Being pleasantly suprised that Taylor Swift live was much better than Taylor Swift on the ACMs. *Enjoying a girls' night out with your baby sister!

Sally/Dobojet

Joshua, the newest Jenga master. I was very impressed with his Jenga skills, but I was forced to confiscate the game when Joshua and Benjamin decided that the pieces are more fun to throw than to play the game with.

We have a new catepillar. Emmeline named it Sally. Joshua named it Dobojet. Emmeline slept with it in her bed and carried it around while she got ready for school this morning. Joshua went running to look at it as soon as he got home from school and said, "I think Dobojet is a raccoon now!" (That would be coccoon, sweetie. Coccoon.)

And speaking of Joshua funnies--Every time Luke watches Rocky, Rocky, Rocky, Rocky, or Rocky I ask him, "Did he win?" Luke always replies, "Every time." So, Joshua just got the movie Kung Fu Panda, and we've watched it now no less than 10,000 times. Today he says, in a voice full of wonder, "I just knew he was going to be the dragon warrior!" I said, "How did you know?" "Because he ALWAYS is!!!!"

That's it! Happy Mothers' Day everyone! And Happy 8th Anniversary to us...tomorrow!

Teacher Appreciation Week

This post isn't actually about teacher appreciation, though I do immensely enjoy both EmJ and Willie's teachers, and their schools.

It's the PTA that stinks.

Seriously, how hard is it to plan an end of the year party?

Order some pizza, sell soda and popcorn, take photos in a decorated corner of the gym, make some posters to advertize, rent a bounce house, play some music, do some face painting, have a bake sale.

Not hard.

Or is it?

According to WA state law, we can't do a cake walk because it's a "game of chance". So is Bingo, but they have bingo nights all the time...

A bake sale is a liability. Is it worth the risk of sending a kid to the hospital because an item is mislabeled?

What?

Oh, and we have to HIRE a photographer and face painter. Because apparently kids nowadays expect professional peace signs and rainbows on their cheeks.

Am I crazy? Does this have to be so complicated?

I'm willing to wager that kids will find a way to have fun without needing all the extras. I'm willing to wager that they'll have MORE fun.

But I'm in the minority. And I'm passive aggressive. So, I've gone from party planner to just-tell-me-what-you-want-me-to-do person.

But I'm still not hiring a face painter. That's just silly.

Mom, what are you doing on the 12th? Are you good with peace signs and rainbows?

Willie is 5!!!

Well, my pictures are out of order, as usual, but at least I got the most important one first! Last weekend Willie celebrated his 5th birthday and my dad celebrated his 50th! Here are the birthday boys.

Willie is very much into basketball at the moment, so we got him a basketball outfit for his birthday. He thought that was pretty cool.


Willie enjoying the spotlight.

Willie on the morning of his birthday about to open presents.

We had pancakes for his birthday breakfast. Samantha decided to put her syrupy plate on her head...is this why you don't give your kids syrup, Sarah?!

I just thought this was cute...I can't get enough of her curly hair.

Yup. She's a keeper. She finally got her third tooth today. Hooray!

I love this picture of Willie and Grandma...sporting the new sunglasses and watch. Of course, Willie wore the sunglasses to school today and left them there. Go figure.

The kids at Willie's birthday party. Since this one didn't include any faces, I figured it'd be okay to post. The party was a blast, thanks to Luke-the-Entertainer. He had the kids running and screaming and giggling within three minutes, and he managed to turn my nice low-key party into a giant waterfight. The kids loved it, some of the parents will never let their kids come over again. Party Economics 101: Sidewalk chalk costs about $2 and keeps kids entertained indefinately. I pulled off this shindig for a whopping $24 (or, rather, Turtle Grandma did! Thank you!).

After the family party (before the friend party), Willie and I went to the Mariner's game. Our first of the season. We won in dramatic fashion in the bottom of the ninth, at which point Willie was asking after every pitch, "Are we going to stay here forever?"

Willie was mad we didn't get a ball, but excited to be sitting next to Ichiro.

And, the cake. I love the mess of wax and canned cherries that is my dad's cake! Willie's candles spell DIME (his first name...oh my, now you are all REALLY confused!)

For his 50th birthday, we gave my dad a box of Cracklin' Oat Bran, or as we affectionately call it, "Colon Blow."

Luke didn't have a bag for the wrapping paper, so he shoved it all in poor Sam's shirt. She was so confused!

And that's it! Happy Birthday Dime, Willie, Joshua, whatever your name is!